Counting down

I've just had a conversation with a friend about what my plans are for New Year's Eve - and to be honest I'm not exactly sure what I feel the need to do.

If I can be blunt, as I usually am, this year has been completely fucked. So many bad things have happened, so many good people have been hurt, and so much shit has gone down.

There actually aren't too many bright spots that I recall. I did get a new job, which I am loving, and with it came new friends whom I adore, but the rest of my life has seemed a little cruddy.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't walked around with a look of sour disdain on my face all year. I've smiled and laughed at every opportunity. As promised I've taken the time to smell the roses and to just sit and be within myself, but sometimes it has felt like a constant battle with the universe.

And it seems I'm not alone. So many other people have been decrying the evil that was 2010. They are just about begging for 2011 to arrive and bring with it new hope for a brighter future.

I want to be a big believer in making your own luck (it's a bit hard for me as I think I must have done something rather shit to bring about the luck I have had), but I do believe in positive vibes and trying your best to be your best. I refuse to let myself be dragged down by all the negativity, and I will continue to strive to set a super example for my precious A.

I'm hoping that by year's end A and I have a clear idea of where our home will be, and as part of that I hope that this war between her father and I will end so that we can form some kind of 'alliance' when it comes to raising her as the happy child I desire.

I also hope for good health for some of my friends and their families, as illness at this time of year always seems to hit harder. You and yours will always be in my thoughts and my love and support is unwavering.

And so I return to my plans for NYE. Do I wish to send this terrible year out in the way it deserves - ie writing it (and myself) off. Or should I politely farewell it and gently welcome 2011 in a calm and sensible manner, hoping that vibe continues?

That, dear readers, is quite the question.

Mwah, Ellie xxx