Breathing a little easier

I faced my own mortality today. Seems a little dramatic. I thought so too. Until the doctor told me the bald facts.

Continue living with my (until today) undiagnosed sleep apnoea and within 15 years I would be in real trouble. We are talking stroke, heart attack, and a host of other related problems.

Bugger.

So, during my trip to Hamilton today to follow up on last month's sleep study I learned I have 'very severe chronic obstructive sleep apnoea'. Doesn't sound like a lot of fun. But my study showed I am being disturbed 80 times a minute while asleep. Put simply, my body struggles to breathe the entire time I am asleep, resulting in little or no rest each and every night.

Double bugger.

But at least it's an explanation for how exhausted I feel, and I have felt this rotten for a very long time.

It also explains my reliance on caffeine and nicotine to stay awake, and my desire to have regular catnaps - even though I rarely get the chance. I am a walking zombie.

But there is treatment available. So, the next step is to have another sleep study, this time with a CPAP breathing mask and pump, so that the experts can ascertain how much pressure is needed in the mask to keep my airways open all night. Then I just need to get used to wearing it every night - and enjoy the health benefits that flow.

But I am a bit concerned, cos those masks are anything but sexy, and dear readers, as you will know, I am very single.

I'm pretty sure that they are hardly a turn on. I'm just thinking how a, ahem, sleepover might go. And I don't like the thought of it. But I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

And I have to consider my little A in all of this. I have no intention, as a friend of mine pointed out, of 'checking out early'. I will do all that I can to ensure I'm around for as long as possible for A. She is my life, and she needs her Mummy.

I'm also thinking of the newfound energy I will have, and part of me is a teeny bit excited. Perhaps it might mean I will be able to bound out of bed (too much???) and do all of that exercise I keep promising myself to do. Or I might be able to get out of bed before lunchtime on my childfree days. Or I might even just feel human again - wow, wouldn't that be nice!!!???

Anyhow, I've got another six weeks to wait for my next sleep study and CPAP fitting, so until then, I will have to remain a zombie - but at least there is light (or sleep) at the end of the tunnel.

Sweet dreams people.

Mwah Ellie xxx