Keep in touch

I hate being ignored. Hate it. Can't stand it. Totally does my head in.

I'm a people person, I enjoy interacting with others, keeping in touch, and just plain touching base.

I can't stand people not replying to me. Argh!!!!!!!

Those who know me well know I am addicted to texting. I'm constantly on my phone, receiving texts, answering texts, and often just checking for messages.

It's my way of staying connected to people I care about. I love nothing more than receiving a message which says nothing more than "I'm thinking about you". As silly as it sounds, it brightens my day.

And I all too often send that same message to people. I might have nothing to say, but I want them to know that they are loved, appreciated, cherished etc. I know how it makes me feel, and I want to repay the favour I guess.

So it irritates me that someone would ignore my messages. My ex does it all the time. I fucking hate it. I'm not texting him just for the sake of it. There's a reason, and as the mother of his child I deserve, at the very least, a polite reply.

Sometimes I think I should stop texting some people, the ones whom I tend to be paranoid about whether or not they are ignoring me. But then I figure, I am being true to myself, I am doing what I do, and their reaction is beyond my control.

It's a very freeing decision to make - to be yourself and to acknowledge that the reactions of others are outside a) your control and b) your responsibility.

I no longer have to worry about others, apart from A of course, as they are responsible for, and to, themselves.

Grown adults make their own choices and have to live with their own consciences and consequences. I do it, and now I have consciously decided to leave them to it.

I can't control them. I don't want to in fact. And I am all the better for it.

It's almost like a little weight has been lifted from my shoulders. There is no more thinking 'what if?', only "what do I want to do?" - and it's liberating.

I highly recommend it to all of you.

Mwah Ellie xxx