Does another year older really mean another year wiser?

That time of year has rolled round when I'm left feeling nostalgic, reflective, and downright pensive.

And before you ask, no it's not the festive season, it's the eve of my 34th birthday. Here's to another year, which is supposed to make me another year wiser.

I guess in some ways I am feeling wiser, I no longer have those same trusting blinkers on I've worn for much of my previous 33 years. I no longer have 'trusting' as my default setting given the extreme abuses of said trust which have occurred during recent years.

So, what have I learned during the last year which has increased my wisdom?

I guess I have learned a lot about myself during the past 12 months, given the huge amount of time I have spent either on my own, or in the company of my precious A.

I now know that I can deal with most situations, calling on my new-found reservoir of strength. I am a strong woman who will do anything to protect my child, and now to protect myself and my family and friends.

I have learned the true value of friends and the importance of having a select group whom you would trust with your life. While my base group of friends has not changed for the past 20 years, I have since added just a handful of awesome, like-minded chicks who 'get' me. They, and in some cases their partners, have become part of my support network and I will be forever grateful to them for their love and help during the past 19 months.

I have learned to control my temper ever so slightly more. It's amazing what taking a few deep breaths and walking away from a situation can achieve. Where I used to stamp my feet and yell, I now try to remove myself in a bid to defuse the situation and - I know it's kinda out there - I have taken to keeping my mouth shut until I cool down, that way hurtful words can't be spoken in the heat of the moment. I know, I know, me with my mouth shut is not a common occurrence!!!

I've also learned that it's okay to be me. I don't have to be like anyone else, to imitate their style, or to shadow their life. I am fast becoming happy with myself, of course there are things I would love to change (losing those last few kgs etc), but I've realised that I'm actually a good person who has a lot to offer.

And I've also learned that my life is pretty freaking awesome just as it is. I've spoken in earlier blogs about learning to appreciate what I do have, rather than long for what I do not. In recent days I have heard humbling stories of hardship and they really have made me sit back and take stock.

I have a gorgeous, happy and healthy daughter, a loving family and wonderfully supportive friends - what more could a gal want???

On a final note, I have also learned that one cannot ever eat enough birthday cake, especially fresh chocolate cake, so indulge I shall, until this almost 34yo body can take no more.

Happy birthday to me.

Mwah, Ellie xxx