Decluttering

I have come to a bit of a realisation; I'm a people pleaser, I love to please, and I love to feel appreciated.

It hurts me when I do something for others, expecting that they too will have the decency (perhaps too strong a word???) to give me the same consideration in return. I don't think they do it on purpose, but it stings all the same.

I've mentioned before my extreme disdain for ignored SMSs, but this goes one step further.

I no longer have to consider anyone else in my life except for my precious A. I don't have a partner whose needs I have to accommodate or predict. But I do have others in my life whose needs I constantly attempt to pander to. But no longer. I'm done putting it all out there only to be ignored, forgotten or simply considered surplus to requirements.

I'm too tired to be blogging at the moment, but really needed to get this out of my head.

I'm feeling a little antsy at the moment, I think a lot of it has to do with my ongoing legal battle with A's father, plus the fact he has a new girlfriend and is obviously moving on with his life, while I feel I'm still treading water. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that he has found someone, I hope it makes him happy and therefore easier for me to deal with. But, if I'm honest with myself, I'm envious that he has that, especially after leaving us, while I'm still riding solo - but that's a whole other blog topic!!!

Anyhow, so back to the being ignored issue, I took the bold move of deleting some numbers out of my phone tonight, and when I say deleted, I mean deleted messages, deleted contact details, and I even went into my calls history and deleted all dialled calls as well. There is no way back from this. I no longer have those numbers - and I don't have them written down anywhere. These people are now persona non grata in my life - and I feel a bit relieved by that.

So, if you don't hear from me, but you want to - the ball is now in your court. I'm always up for a game!!!

Mwah, Ellie xxx